Chick-Fil-A

Boycott the F’ing Boycotts-2023

/ cigarman501 / 6 Comments

“And I have a tiny little moment of anxiety, because I can’t remember whether or not we’re meant to be boycotting Mars bars.” — David Nicholls

I first shared my feelings about calls to boycott in 2020. Nothing has changed except for the names of those companies some of you are being called on to #Boycott due to ‘wokeness’ or allying for the LGBTQ+ community. Target, Anheuser-Busch, Pink Floyd, even conservative Chick-fil-a is not immune to the boycott plague. Is Disney being boycotted or is it just a pissing contest with DeSantis? Only the names and the years have changed, the stupidity of some folks is still proud and out front. News flash, those groups you wanted boycotted in 2020 are still in business.

How much sense did it make for Kid Rock to shoot up a case of Bud Light…that he had already paid for? Brains and Kid Rock? Contradictory terms? #BoycottBrains

I’m sick of calls to boycott.  It’s like listening to the greatest music hit of 2023. (As if there is any great music in 2023) The ditty is good the first time, maybe the tenth time, but it gets so much air play, it gets old.   Boycotting calls because an athletic team dares to celebrate inclusiveness during Pride Month?  That gets old.  Really unity? #BoycottUnityBoycott

I must interject the accusations that Pink Floyd had gone ‘woke’ because the poorly educated didn’t realize their cover was an update of their 50th anniversary album “Dark Side of the Moon”. It featured a prism separating white light into its separate colors. Slept through that day in science class. Will we call to boycott the next rainbow after a thunderstorm? #BoycottRainbows

When attempting to find a place to eat or a substance to eat how many of you Google, “What is the local ‘choke and puke’s’ political stance?”  No one right? Do you really?  Remember the Ben and Jerry’s boycott of 2020? Let’s see, boycott a bowl of “Boots on the Moooon” because of Ben and Jerry’s stand on Global Warming or White Supremacy and dared to be interviewed with Jane Fonda.  I see, #BoycottBenandJerrys.

I don’t know if I’ve ever eaten Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, but it has nothing to do with a boycott or a political stance.  I’m sure someone just shook their head in disbelief.  I don’t remember eating it, but I assure you it’s not because they are soooo liberal.  I mean I will eat at Chick-fil-a if I can’t get to Bojangles or Popeyes. Nothing to do with their conservatism or their wokeness…I just like my chicken spicy.

Firstly, Liberals can make ice cream…or spicy chicken.  Secondly, when you are standing so far right, everything in the center looks radical…and vice versa. 

When I’m not making my own ice cream, I’m a Breyers or a Blue Bell guy, OUT OF HABIT…not politics.  Guess what?  I have no idea who makes Breyers or what their political slant is.  Same with Blue Bell.  I…COULD…CARE…LESS! 

If they aren’t serial killers, rapist, or abusers, I…DON”T…CARE! Enablers? Indoctrinators? Bull Sheet! Well, there was Blue Bell’s 2015 listeriosis outbreak and Breyers cutting their milk content to the point some of their offerings were called ‘frozen desserts’ rather than ice cream.  #BoycottListeriosis, #BoycottFrozenDesserts! 

Boycotting is as ridiculous as the chicken sandwich wars from a while back, also 2020.  God’s Chick-fil-a sandwich versus Satan’s Popeye’s sandwich. Chick-Fil- offered a spicier version of their chicken sandwich.  Does that mean they have gone over to the dark side? #BoycottGodlessSpicyChickenSandwich! They must have. They dared to hire a vice president for diversity, equality, and inclusion. #Boycottdiversityequalityinclusion.

My belief is that most of the boycotters want to move us back to the closet days, when gays couldn’t marry, every Saturday night was “Roll a Queer” night, and the police often raided gay venues to break a few heads.

We’ve had some effective boycotts over the history of the United States.  Stamp Act’s “Taxation Without Representation”, The Montgomery Bus Boycott, Gandhi’s Salt March and Boycott, US sanctions against South Africa to end Apartheid and free Nelson Mandela.

Shooting up Bud Light ranks right up there with those.

Most boycotts are pointless and harmful. Have you considered what a successful boycott might entail?  LOST AMERICAN JOBS!  The owners and stockholders of Target you are grinding on for instance. They are already rich.  They probably didn’t start out rich, but they are now.  The owners are rich.  They can outlast you. Just like in 2020.

What about the girl at the cash register, or the janitor at Target?  What about the little girl in the paper hat that scoops your chocolate chip mint into your cone at Ben and Jerry’s?  Or the guy directing traffic at Chick-fil-a? Or the guy with the pooper scooper following the Clydesdales around. They are the ones who will pay for your stupid boycott. #BoycottBoycotts

If my ice cream is made by a right-wing wingnut, I’ll eat it if it is deliciously sweet and creamy.  I won’t eat it but once if it is not.  #BoycottBadIceCream! I don’t shop at Target…it is too far away and Miller in long necked bottles is my beer choice. I could care less about their political stance.

If there was any doubt, if a protest for social justice is so reprehensible you wish to boycott it…you should boycott me.  #BoycottMe

Well, I’m going to prepare brunch for my bride now.  Guess what I’m not going to do?  I’m not going to worry about the political statements made by the chicken that laid the egg, the corn that grits were ground from, or the pig who gave its all for my sausage.  The farmer who supplied them?  We’re good regardless of what sign he puts in his field. 

I’m not going to worry about the stance of the workers who picked the broccoli, mushrooms, and spinach that will make up the filling of my omelet.  I don’t care if the cheddar cheese maker is a liberal or a conservative, a libertarian or a flat earther. 

I may have a bowl of ice cream later while watching the college baseball regionals…it may be Ben and Jerry’s…it may not.  Some of the colleges playing are probably ‘woke’ liberal hotbeds. May the best team win. #BoycotttheFingBoycott!

***

The image is from Aaron Fooks, Protest Pointless Boycotts, The Chimes. https://chimesnewspaper.com/23827/opinions/protest-pointless-boycotts/

Stop by Don Miller’s author’s page at https://www.amazon.com/Don-Miller/e/B018IT38GM?fbclid=IwAR0G7zFoynNmQ5cF2WE-usnYnFgJUY_9NjLXDIRhTJmS5F_ipFre6D0NGOk

Chicken Sandwich Wars and Other Useless Thoughts

/ cigarman501 / 5 Comments

“And just like that everyone forgot about the Amazon burning and started fighting over chicken sandwiches.” – Forrest Gump

Is the Amazon still burning?  Have seen nothing since Popeyes and Chick-Fil-A began to duke it out.  The battle has been joined by several other fast food empires as they try to control our cholesterol intake.

I wonder what has happened to the real arguments we once picked.  Pumpkin spice creamed coffee, green and red coffee cups that said Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, “taste great, less filling”, a tan suit and a certain President.  The battles we pick amaze me, much in the same way a bit of tainted chicken turns me into a porcelain throne hugging quivering coward.

Just saw this one….

Popeye's

I know this is posted as a joke but there are people who believe this.  If you are in a closet (Not a Pun), we had a Cat 4-5 Hurricane named Dorian slamming the Bahamas and presently looking as if it will miss most of the East Coast of the USA.  God must have forgiven most of us for eating at Popeyes despite its founding in Sin City South, New Orleans.  I see Charleston and the coast of North Carolina might be in harm’s way.  What did you do to incur God’s wrath?  Maybe you should “eat more chickin’.”

Has the Twitter war that began over chicken sandwiches turned into a religious war of words over good versus evil?  God’s anointed sandwich versus the Devil’s spawn?  If so I find myself on the wrong side once again.  Maybe…I really need humor or satire alerts.  I can’t seem to tell the difference these days.

I’ve never enjoyed Chick Fil A to the degree some people worship it and have been a Popeyes fan since I first ate its popcorn shrimp, dirty rice and slaw in Pensacola back in the middle Eighties.  Love those Cajun spices but I wouldn’t turn down a Chick Fil A sandwich and have purchased one or two or two thousand in my life. Nothing religious, just my eating habits.  My taste buds prefer Popeyes over most fast-food chains involving chicken…Bojangles’s Chicken Filet Biscuit’s pretty good too…Spicy!  You know, warm like the tropical breezes from Dante’s Inferno.

There have been calls to boycott one or the other for various reasons, LGBTQ rights or lack thereof and there have been not so subtle jabs since Popeyes ran out of their chicken sandwich and the fact Chick Fil A doesn’t open on Sundays.

chickfila-popeyes

Boycott?  Not very likely…unless it is KFC’s plant-based, fake as a certain President’s phone call to China, fried imitation chicken.  There are just some things a Southerner can’t eat and still bear to look at himself in a mirror.

kfc

I have consumed my fair share of fast-food chicken dating back to when Colonel Sanders was a young man and hadn’t yet been brought back from the dead by George Hamilton or…gasp…Reba McEntire.  Bizarro …Both Reba and George’s fake tan.  I prefer George Costanza’s reanimation of Col. Sanders anyway.  Let the Col. Sanders wars begin.

Gal

As a child, I would never eat fast food chicken any more than I would eat fast food fried bologna or fast-food TV dinners.  They were staples at my home.  Why would I want to eat something I ate many times during the week?  Fast food was for some exotic meal I didn’t usually get at home…like, I don’t know, a fifteen cent overcooked hamburger with a single dollop each of mustard and catsup along with a single dill pickle resting between two halves of a sesame seed bun.  Did we have hamburger wars between Hardee’s and MacDonald’s?  No, and we didn’t have folks on social media stoking religious disharmony either.  Wait…Wendy’s.

Wendy

I would say food wars should be fought over beef or chicken…again wait…one of the combatants in the chicken sandwich war has already thrown down that gauntlet.

Maybe the war should be over plant-based fake meat products served as chicken or hamburger.  That’s a war I get behind.  Tofu covered in barbeque sauce is still tofu and “parts is parts” shouldn’t include ground-up vegetables masquerading as meat.

tofu

Update:  A Tennessee man has filed suit against Popeyes.  Their crime?  False advertising because they ran out of sandwiches.  “Oh, the humanity….”

Not to be outdone a disgruntled Houston man pulled his weapon on his local Popeyes’s staff when told they were out of chicken sandwiches.  Somewhere there is a Florida man thinking, “Hold my beer.”

Guess I’m gonna have to get one of the devils’ sandwiches just as soon as they reappear.

Featured Image source was Twitter.

Don Miller’s author’s page may be found at https://www.amazon.com/Don-Miller/e/B018IT38GM