My beloved and I had what I call a “clearing off shower.” Like most couples, we’ve had our ups and downs. Luckily, more ups than downs, many more ups than downs. Unfortunately, many more ups do not provide a soothing balm for the downs…neither did this “clearing off shower.”
We sometimes have violent thunderstorms rumbling and bouncing around in the hills and hollers of our little piece of heaven in the foothills of the Blue Ridge. A lot of banging and flashing, wind bellowing and sometimes a lot “hunkering down” until they’re over. When the storm is over the air is so fresh and the sky is so blue…until the air fills with humidity again, thunderheads forming to the northwest and we start the process over again….
My beloved and I are so different…well…in some ways. I tend to ignore problems in hopes they will go away until they don’t. She tends to obsess over the same problems I ignore. She obsessed last night and was still obsessing this morning…and she had obsessed through the night, tossing and turning, allowing the “humidity” to build.
I awoke on the “wrong side of the bed” as did she. A “clearing off shower” was inevitable. The thunder rumbled, the lightning flashed, and storms raged far and wide. The torrential downpour included issues not encompassing the original subject. “Do you remember three months ago….” Finally, the storm ebbed, the air was some clearer, the sky bluer…all before eight o’ clock in the morning.
Later as we drove to church she was quiet…unusual? Sometimes. I worried the humidity might be building and storm clouds might be gathering. As luck would have it, the sermon was entitled “The Loving Marriage”, specifically Paul’s views on marriage from Ephesians 5: 22-25. (NIV)
“22: Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
23: For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
My beloved is not a fan of Paul’s views on women or should I say, men’s interpretation of Paul’s views on women. She believes, and I agree, Paul’s interpretations have led to the misogyny prevalent in certain circles in times past…or today. When the minister used the term “brazen” describing what a wife shouldn’t be, I tapped her shoulder and leaned in to whisper, “I hope you are paying attention.” Her genuine smile along with the elbow to the ribs told me that the humidity might have broken.
I didn’t fall in love with or marry a “submissive” woman. Life might have been easier, but it certainly would not have been as interesting. I fell in love with a “brazenly” bold woman who is unashamed to be who she is. I love her for it and would not have her any other way…most of the time.
Returning from a lunch at our little hole in the wall in the mountains, I noticed the increased humidity, the stiffening breeze from the northwest. Thunder rumbled, echoing in the valleys of the foothills of the Blue Ridge. As the rain began to fall I gave a small prayer of thanks. The storm was raging outside, not inside.
Don Miller tells stories. For more go to https://www.amazon.com/Don-Miller/e/B018IT38GM
2 thoughts on ““Clearing Off Showers””
Excellent! This is honest, real, and beautiful. 🙂
I always struggled with those submissive woman scriptures. But, one day I realized if you truly love him, are truly loved by him, can trust each other, can put the other person first, and their needs first, etc., over oneself….then either spouse can be submissive if and when they need to be. For example, when it came to certain things in my marriage I submitted to him because I felt he knew more about the situation and had more expertise in that area, and then he said he often submitted to me and my opinion when it came to stuff related to our kids. Because he felt I knew our kids really well and, as a teacher, I was more of an expert in the area of children and their needs. We’re still together. We met as teenagers and have been together for 45 years. 🙂
I hope what I said made a little sense. It’s hard to explain.
PS…It is always a joy to read your writing, Don!
Thank you for the compliment. We met thirty-four years ago, she was my roommate’s girlfriend and after they broke up…. We were in our mid-thirties, not looking to get married, both teachers and coaches and it ended up being a perfect match…most of the time. Thanks again for stopping in.
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