“Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously and accepting both of them.”

― George Orwell, 1984

I don’t know what to do. Obviously, I can’t believe anything I see and therefore am incapable of doublethink. I must have a brain tumor, I’m unable to analyze and come to my own conclusions. What I’m seeing is not what I’m hearing.

I’ve watched the video evidence squinting with my head tilted to the left and tilted to the right. I’ve wondered if I should get my glasses changed. Maybe if I watch it standing on my head I’ll see what I’m told I’m seeing. I’ve resisted standing on my head fearing I might do physical damage and become another casualty in this ridiculous battle we are waging.

I’ve watched the video a dozen times or more. I’m sure you know which video. Social media has provided videos from differing angles as has most mainstream media. The angles are different but show the same thing. No matter how many times I see it, a woman dies that didn’t have to die.

I knew what I saw, I was one hundred percent sure…until high ranking members of my countries’ administration (the party) told me what I saw was not what I saw. Later, people I know, some I’m known all my adult life, joined the fray, telling me the same thing. What I saw was not what I saw.

A thought. Maybe I should go to the sites they frequently tune into. I did, watching it again. Listening to their media sources’ talking heads as they analyzed the video, telling me what I should be seeing but was not. The only thing the different sites could agree on was that a woman died.

Maybe if I twist myself into a pretzel the video will come into better focus. No, that would guarantee I would become another casualty.

Am I so biased that I am lost in my own cognitive dissonance? I guess questioning is a good thing but I am reminded of other videos I’ve watched. Videos from January 6, 2021. The same people are telling me I didn’t see what I saw then either.  

What I saw that day was from the beginning, as it happened, live and in living color. Now I am being told what I thought I saw was nothing more than a peaceful visit by tourist to our Capital.

I have a memory from May 4, 1970. A young Kent State coed kneeling over a dead student, arms spread wide as she screams why. Crosby, Stiles, Nash, and Young’s “Ohio” plays in my head. I need to check and see if I’m remembering what I really saw.

I think I quote George Orwell too much. Maybe I should quote him even more. “The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.” George Orwell, 1984.

The party, our administration, is telling us to reject what we hear and what we see. The party is telling us that only they know what is best and that the end justifies the means. If what I see is actually true, I fear their means will end us all.

***

For a lighter read, try Pigtrails and Rabbit Holes or Food For Thought. Both can be found at https://author.amazon.com/home?authorId=amzn1.amazonauthor.author.v1.va7gjnpr6ccslobr6eec3vbdag